9 Quotes & Sayings By Dennis Miller

Dennis Miller is one of the best-known and biggest-selling humorists of all time. He is the author of the bestselling book, The Best Laid Plans: How to Get What You Want in Life and Love, which has sold over five million copies in the U.S. alone. His most recent book, How to Make Love Like a Sex God: The Musical (Simon & Schuster), was a New York Times bestseller for six months and topped the bestseller list for more than two years Read more

He also wrote and starred in the movie, Private Parts, which was one of the most successful comedies of all time.

1
And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow Dennis Miller
2
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. Dennis Miller
3
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. Dennis Miller
4
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways. Dennis Miller
5
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country. Dennis Miller
6
Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again. Dennis Miller
7
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. Dennis Miller
8
I rant, therefore I am. Dennis Miller